Roger Newman
It was in October about 25 years ago when, listening to the radio, I happened to hear an item about breast cancer; ‘men can get it too’ the presenter said. I immediately checked myself and, to my horror, felt a lump. It turned out to be fatty tissue but 17 years on when another lump appeared I needed no persuading to see my doctor.
Following some tests I faced the crucial result from my specialist. He was not alone but was accompanied by a Macmillan nurse. ‘Oh! Oh!’ I thought, ‘it can’t be good news’. Sure enough it was confirmed I had breast cancer.
During the previous 17 years I had experienced the tragic deaths of two partners, and that plus other challenges had created in me a feeling of ‘Here we go again’. So, I didn’t panic, nor did I feel a sense of doom. I just felt I needed to get through this new crisis like I had done in all the other times, but fortunately this time it was different because I now had a husband to support me and there was no doubt that he was going to be with me all the way.
So, I had a mastectomy and the removal of lymph nodes and I started the road to recovery. I had a course of radiotherapy and chose not to have chemotherapy. I also knew that, from past experiences, further support would be very valuable and I hoped that I might also meet other gay men in the same situation as myself. However, that didn’t happen and so far has not happened. Nevertheless, I am delighted to say that other male support eventually emerged and that there is now a lively and flourishing men’s breast cancer group, named the Men’s VMU, with its own website; a monthly online meeting; a WhatsApp group; and last year our first face to face meeting. Our Group has quickly learned that there are issues uniquely faced by men with breast cancer and that together we can encourage medical authorities, breast cancer charities and other relevant groups to hear us, have our needs met and push for breast cancer research to include men and establish research specifically focusing on men.
How have those two operations affected me? Well coping with the side effects of the prescribed medications remains a challenge and I remain unconfident about my body image post-surgery, but as an 84 year old I rejoice that I feel fit and have survived