David Salisbury

The day that my wife, Abbie, died was quite simply the worst day of my life. Abbie was only 49 years old and her positive attitude and resilience, over 5 years of diagnosis, treatment, “cure”, recurrence, treatment, remission, recurrence, coupled with the over-optimism of the medical team, had left me and our three boys completely unprepared for her death. Even in the last few days, she and her doctors refused to contemplate the end and continued to be positive and hopeful, so we had never really discussed death and what it might mean. I know that sounds strange now but that’s the way Abbie wanted it.

We had been together for over 25 years and I had always assumed, that like my parents, we would be together for ever. Suddenly on my own, the support of my close group of friends was invaluable. My three boys, mercifully in their late teens/early twenties were unbelievable! How they carried on with their respective studies and achieved what they achieved, filled me with awe and pride in equal measure. In many ways, their lives have been more affected than mine and they have coped amazingly.

11 years on, I still miss her of course - especially at big family occasions like my son’s wedding and now the birth of my first grandchild! How she would have loved to have been a grandmother! I am though still inspired by and thankful for her positivity and her happy, calm demeanour.

But life moves on. As in everybody’s lives, there have been ups and downs in these last 11 years and I often reflect on how breast cancer has changed the course of my life. I have met people and had experiences that I would never have had – most certainly not all good but not all bad either. Today. I am happy and, more importantly, my children are happy and it is they who are our greatest achievement and of whom Abbie would have been most proud.